Dumb Question: Who pays for coffee?

[Patient0L]

I’m about to take the plunge into cold calling / reaching out to firm contacts for coffee chats.

I’m trying to avoid any awkwardness during ordering/paying. See question above. Do I pay for coffees? Do we each pay? I notice senior lawyers often swoop in and pay for meals. Do I let them do this if they try? It would seem weird to me if I didn’t pay as I’m the one who is asking them… 
 

What is the etiquette?

[PePeHalpert]

As the person initiating the coffee meeting, you should assume that you are paying and should attempt to pay.  I find the easiest way to make it clear that you are paying is for you to order first and then, before the barista leaves to prep your order, turn to the other person and ask what they would like to order, and then immediately present your credit card (or whatever form of payment).  If the other person offers to pay, you can politely protest ("that's so kind, but its on me") and if they continue to insist, let them pay.  

[Jaggers]

It also depends who you are talking to. Don't even think about offering to pay for coffee for a government lawyer. You can politely offer, of course, but they can never take you up on it. Whereas a student meeting with a Bay St lawyer could make a token offer to pay, but if they take you up on it, you should never work at that firm.

[Patient0L]

1 hour ago, PePeHalpert said:

As the person initiating the coffee meeting, you should assume that you are paying and should attempt to pay.  I find the easiest way to make it clear that you are paying is for you to order first and then, before the barista leaves to prep your order, turn to the other person and ask what they would like to order, and then immediately present your credit card (or whatever form of payment).  If the other person offers to pay, you can politely protest ("that's so kind, but its on me") and if they continue to insist, let them pay.  

Oooh i like this!

19 minutes ago, Jaggers said:

It also depends who you are talking to. Don't even think about offering to pay for coffee for a government lawyer. You can politely offer, of course, but they can never take you up on it. Whereas a student meeting with a Bay St lawyer could make a token offer to pay, but if they take you up on it, you should never work at that firm.

Interesting. So no bribes? I’m in Vancouver… I’m assuming the Bay Street thing applies to large/medium downtown firms?

[Jaggers]

No bribes. One of my best friends used to work at the OSC, and she wouldn't even come to my firm's big anniversary party.

Edited May 26, 2023 by Jaggers

[123]

I think even with smaller firms, the usual practice is for the senior lawyer to pay. I pay for coffee or lunch with a student. Senior lawyers usually pay for me. If they insist on paying, let them pay (barring any conflict issues as mentioned above). They probably had senior lawyers pick up the cheque for them at some point. They're paying it forward, both in terms of time and the bill.

That said, if the lawyer doesn't seem like they're offering to pay, go ahead and pay for yourself to avoid any awkwardness. But yeah, I think it is weird if a senior lawyer isn't picking up the cheque for a student.

Edited May 26, 2023 by realpseudonym

[Jaggers]

I think the senior person should pay, but it's also totally not weird that if you show up first at whatever place you've agreed to, you just buy a coffee and find a table. But if you arrive and order together, senior lawyer should pay for sure.

[Patient0L]

Hmm… so the gist is: I should offer, but if a senior lawyer wants to pay I should let them. If it’s a government lawyer, we each pay for our coffees separately.

What about an articling student or a new call? They are senior compared to me… but would I treat this differently? 

 

 

[QMT20]

2 minutes ago, Patient0L said:

What about an articling student or a new call? They are senior compared to me… but would I treat this differently? 

You should treat it the same way. They will almost invariably offer to pay. The same goes for current summer students. 

Edited May 26, 2023 by QMT20