Cognitive Issues / Brain Fog

[Anonymous]

I'm a criminal lawyer, in court multiple days a week, speaking to dozens of matters in a docket day.

I've always felt mentally tired after full court days. But more recently it feels like legit brain damage and I'm stumbling over my words more in court and having more difficulty figuring things out and hashing things out with opposing counsel during the rush of court days. 

At first I could attribute this to an off day or two but at this point I'm concerned. I feel like my memory has gone to shit. I am much less articulate than I used to be. Sometimes I forget what I was trying to say mid-sentence.

This is happening not just on the record and in discussions with opposing counsel, but it's extending to my personal life outside work. For several weeks now I have noticed I can't remember shit when having casual conversations with friends and being pressed for details about books I read, etc.

I am wondering if it's burnout and looking to book a vacation. But I wanted to get some input into how common this is for lawyers with busy litigation practices. I'm not the person I used to be and I'm feeling incredibly dumb lately, and I'm self-conscious about being perceived that way in a field where cognitive horsepower is supposed to matter.

[JackoMcSnacko]

Not litigation, but this post resonated with me.  Instead of stumbling over words or getting tripped up in court it's more that I randomly forget drafting concepts, deal terms or status of transaction docs completely and it will trip up my workflow, especially on a busy day where I'm juggling between multiple matters.  Also only recent, as this never happened when I was a junior. I never thought it could be burnout related but if it is and it's temporary that's honestly the best case scenario.  I thought it was just long covid or something that I would have to deal with the rest of my life.

[Anonymous]

6 minutes ago, JackoMcSnacko said:

Not litigation, but this post resonated with me.  Instead of stumbling over words or getting tripped up in court it's more that I randomly forget drafting concepts, deal terms or status of transaction docs completely and it will trip up my workflow, especially on a busy day where I'm juggling between multiple matters.  Also only recent, as this never happened when I was a junior. I never thought it could be burnout related but if it is and it's temporary that's honestly the best case scenario.  I thought it was just long covid or something that I would have to deal with the rest of my life.

I wondered about long COVID myself. Tested myself for COVID many times since the pandemic started and never tested positive, but it seemed a possibility and concern.

[ZineZ]

OP, please also consider seeing a doctor as soon as possible. As much as it could be just something more normal - please don't ignore symptoms (I had to learn this the hard way a few years back).

Taking a vacation and getting out of town might be a good step after you first get a medical professional's advice. I have dealt with severe burnout before, but not something where I have forgotten conversations with friends. 

[ditiae]

OP how many hours do you sleep per night? Does it vary widely from night to night? Is it consistent, but less than 5 hours? I'm not saying you aren't experiencing burnout, but I am wondering if you're experiencing symptoms of sleep deprivation. Stress in combination with sleep deprivation will do these things to you.

You should arrange a visit with your GP regardless. 

Edited August 14, 2024 by ditiae

[Pathos]

Schedule doctor's appointment at your earliest. You may also want to put some time in with a therapist. If you're overly stressed it will wreck your ability to think clearly and function normally. In my - slightly informed, but not in any way professional opinion - Your mind is probably in over-drive on the fight-or-flight juice (cortisol and other stress hormones) due to constant and ongoing exposure to perceived high-risk situations (court). Some deep R + R and/or checking out some mindfulness techniques could also be useful in conjunction with the above. It's probably obvious, but always worth repeating - Do NOT turn to alcohol or other drugs. It'll make an already bad situation much worse (have experience - not recommended). Good luck out there. Please seek out help.

[Scrantonicity2]

Not a lawyer, but I want to flag that my partner almost certainly had long COVID (symptoms lasted just over 2 years) and never had a positive COVID test. There are also post-viral sequelae to other viruses, including the flu, that can have similar impacts to long COVID. I echo the advice from others to see a doctor, but, if at all possible, I'd also suggest trying for a longer leave of absence where you use energy pacing techniques (lots of resources online) and try to give your nervous system a break.

[Bob Jones]

23 hours ago, Guest Anonymous said:

I'm a criminal lawyer, in court multiple days a week, speaking to dozens of matters in a docket day.

I've always felt mentally tired after full court days. But more recently it feels like legit brain damage and I'm stumbling over my words more in court and having more difficulty figuring things out and hashing things out with opposing counsel during the rush of court days. 

At first I could attribute this to an off day or two but at this point I'm concerned. I feel like my memory has gone to shit. I am much less articulate than I used to be. Sometimes I forget what I was trying to say mid-sentence.

This is happening not just on the record and in discussions with opposing counsel, but it's extending to my personal life outside work. For several weeks now I have noticed I can't remember shit when having casual conversations with friends and being pressed for details about books I read, etc.

I am wondering if it's burnout and looking to book a vacation. But I wanted to get some input into how common this is for lawyers with busy litigation practices. I'm not the person I used to be and I'm feeling incredibly dumb lately, and I'm self-conscious about being perceived that way in a field where cognitive horsepower is supposed to matter.

Sorry to hear about your situation. I would speak with your doctor as soon as possible, to rule out any serious medical issues. Hopefully it’s just a sign that you need some rest and nothing serious to worry about, but definitely speak with your doctor. 
 

For what it’s worth, I used to have chest pain and would experience episodes of trouble catching my breath (as if an elephant was sitting on my chest and I was breathing through a straw), when I had a busy litigation practice + asshole bosses. Thankfully my doctors ruled out any physical issues. Since going in house, that all went away. Incredible what stress can do to the body. 
 

Hope everything pans out well for you 🙂

[SNAILS]

The obvious reason for the problems described by the OP is lack of a good night's sleep, burnout, and need for a vacation.

I might be on the extreme end of needing sleep, but I have always needed 8 or even more hours of quality sleep to be fully functional. Even in law school, there were never any "all nighters" for me. There is a certain point where my brain shuts down, even if it's just reviewing disclosure and talking to sureties for bail hearings (the core of my job now) as opposed to being in court all day like the OP.

Talking to a doctor would be the safe route  out of an abundance of caution (just in case you have had a stroke, early onset dementia, etc), but I would bet money 10:1 that it is likely burnout and fatigue are the root cause.

It actually baffles me that the OP would not take time off in this situation as an immediate attempt to solve the problem, then try something else if that does not work.