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Fun times and faceplants in Court


razraini
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razraini
  • Lawyer

I vaguely recall a similar thread on ls.ca so I thought I would get the ball rolling again with a standout courtroom moment.

Judge: Ok Mr. Defendant…you’re at the remand…you have three counts before the Court…are you getting a lawyer? What do you want to do with this today?

Mr. Defendant: I was thinking I could plead guilty to one count…Hey, Mr. Prosecutor…what do you think of 90 days on this?

Me: *review record*…uh…that actually sounds exactly right.

Mr. Defendant: I think I got about 60 days in so that puts me at time served, right?

Me: *doing mental math* uh…yeah…it would.

Mr. Defendant: Alright, cool. Awesome.

Judge: …Mr. Prosecutor…do you even wanna read in facts on this?

Me: I mean, yeah, I should… I don’t think we can really do a summary guilty plea [still amazed I was asked this]

Mr. Defendant: Yeah, you should read in some facts. Don’t worry about 606. I know what’s up. [For the non-crim practitioners, this is the provision of the Criminal Code that lays out the conditions upon which a guilty plea can be accepted]

Judge: …ok…will the Crown need an order for forfeiture?

Mr. Defendant: Yes. The cops took some stuff when they arrested me. It ain’t mine.

Me: …Yes.

Anyway, it turned out Mr. Defendant he already arranged for his ride to pick him up that afternoon from the remand.

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Aureliuse
  • Lawyer

I practice family law.

Some fun tidbits during trial, when even the judge smiled or had to suppress a chuckle:

 

Context: Direct Examination - Wife had suspected the husband was cheating on her.

Me: [Asking my witness to describe a fight on a specific morning]

Wife: ....When he said that, I was so angry. I grabbed what was close to me and cracked him across the face.

Me: What did you grab?

Wife: A bedside lamp.

Me: What did he say that made you so angry?

Wife: 'Louise, what time is it?' [fictional name]

Me: That made you upset?

Wife: Yes, because my name is Sharon! [fictional name]

(guess the name of the other woman the husband was cheating with...)

[Trial judge had to suppress a chuckle, opposing counsel was laughing]

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I've seen this one circulated a bunch of times. Is it still relevant in family law in the 21st century whether someone is having sex with someone else?

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Aureliuse
  • Lawyer
22 hours ago, Jaggers said:

I've seen this one circulated a bunch of times. Is it still relevant in family law in the 21st century whether someone is having sex with someone else?

Yes, for paternity issues and in some rare cases, repeated infidelity (lyin, cheatin, and denyin about it) amounts to abuse within the purview of the amended Divorce Act.

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