Reflecting on my experience as an unsuccessful candidate in the 2L recruit (repost from LS.ca)

[cherrytree]

Note: I posted this on lawstudents.ca originally back in February 2020. It seems to have struck a chord with folks and been of some help, so I thought I should post it again here. I know the cyclical pressure and anxiety associated with articling and 2L recruits are starting to ramp up again at this time, so once again I want to make myself available via DM's to anyone who may want to talk about the recruit on an anonymous and confidential basis. Good luck!

 

A preamble:

I applied to 40ish firms, got 10 OCIs, 3 in-firms (one with my top choice employer that I had my best OCI with, one with an employer that only invited me as a filler candidate to round out their schedule, and another employer that did not participate in OCIs). I did not progress much further with any of the in-firms, and my phone was silent on call day. After taking some time off in late November to rest and recuperate, I kept applying to summer opportunities and am happy to report that I recently landed a summer position in the practice area that I originally aimed for in the 2L recruit. Coming to the end of my 2L summer job search has prompted me to reflect on the lessons I learned over the past seven months, and I wrote this post in an effort to work through my personal thoughts and feelings. I hope that my post can be a small contribution to the great body of wisdom accumulated in this forum regarding the OCIs, the formal recruit process, and everything beyond.

1. Know when to walk away from recruit-related chatter on the forum and IRL

I find that at some point in this process that stretches from July to November, checking the forums for updates hits a point of diminishing returns, especially towards the end of OCIs. The summer months are a great time for digging up interesting and valuable posts from past years' recruit cycles and absorb anything you find helpful. There are some cool tips and tricks about networking and coffee chats, which I think are especially relevant for that early stage of 1L summer when a lot of students are still unsure about the practice area(s) that best fit their interests and strengths.

However, as OCIs officially kick off and everyone's "tunnel vision" begins to take over, refreshing the 2L recruit thread obsessively for minute-to-minute updates on ITCs/PFOs might only heighten your anxiety instead of providing meaningful information. This is especially important for in-firm week where the number of variables outside the candidates' control increase dramatically. You might want to specifically create a space for yourself where you can do things unrelated to law that help to keep you feeling balanced and well-rested as much as possible. If you are naturally more introverted and the highly interactive, conversational nature of the recruit process is already a challenge to your stamina, know that you are not being selfish or rude by insulating yourself from environments (e.g. the law school building) and social interactions that drain your energy. People who truly care about you and your well-being are going to understand.

2. Know yourself and know the employers

There is a place and a time for putting yourself entirely in the interviewer's/employer's shoes, such as puzzling out exactly why one employer is interested in knowing your five-to-ten-year plan, and another one wants to know how you deal with micromanaging bosses, difficult personalities and conflicts, and still a third one just wants to hear more about the kind of music you enjoy. You get only 17 minutes in that black curtained booth that lacks any soundproofing whatsoever, and you must be thoughtful in how you want to maximize the utility of those minutes. Your CDO can help you get started on figuring out those questions. But, there are more places and more times where it's more important to put yourself firmly and properly in your own shoes.

One of my favourite things about being a law student is that this profession/industry is very much centered around mentoring, having meaningful conversations and building relationships. As such, like most of my peers, leading up to OCIs, I received loads of earnest and well-meaning advice from upper years, articling students and recently called associates. There is such a thing as too much good intentions, especially when it comes to entirely subjective (and, in hindsight, completely inane) matters related to the recruit. Most of the advice you will get are going to come from people who barely know you as a person, and from their perspective, you are likely just one of a dozen students seeking that holy grail secret to unlock success in this overwhelmingly competitive process. The advice you receive from the successful students is probably the same thing they've already repeated to numerous others, which is not to say the advice is unhelpful, but it is certainly not likely going to be tailored to you as an individual. This is where you have to do the work the rest of the way, filter out and keep in mind only the parts that make sense for you.

For example, most people probably would not disagree that scheduling your top-choice employer as early in the day as possible is an effective way of signalling interest, but if being a functional, engaging, vibrant human being at the ass crack of the morning that is 8AM is just not you, then just go with the 10AM slot. I wish that's what I did, instead of showing my top-choice firm, the only one that sent me an ITC, a fairly underwhelming and unfocused version of myself instead of my best self at 8AM. You have been a full, fleshed-out human being with your idiosyncrasies and specific habits formed over years of your life before you are an OCI candidate, so remember to give yourself some credit for that. It's too late to shave the square peg to make it fit a round hole, and doing so is not a sure-fire way to success anyways.

3. Know that the playing field is not level

There is a painfully long laundry list of things that may, and probably will, make you question whether you belong here. That sinking feeling of not feeling like you belong may permeate for just a moment, or it may stay with you for a while. It may happen at any point in the process, regardless of whether you find a job offer at the end of it or not. Maybe you are a first-generation law student listening in on lawyers talking about polo or hockey or some other crazy expensive niche activity in which only rich upper-class men and women are well-versed. Maybe you've had a career or other accomplishments prior to pursuing law, and you are really trying to go in a different direction now, but for some reason everybody interviewing you is still specifically fixated on it and they don't seem interested when you try to give forward-looking answers about that new direction. Maybe you didn't grow up using forks and knives, or you don't like to drink, or you don't like the food that you didn't order served at the restaurant you didn't pick, and this whole dinner-as-interview setup just never made sense to you. Maybe this whole arbitrary selection process just leaves you feeling deflated, confused and boxed-in and you can't even pinpoint exactly why.

At the end of the day, there is no denying that certain people, with certain types of personalities, with certain kinds of backgrounds and experiences will find this process easier to navigate than others. No two people will emerge from the OCI process having the exact same feelings and insights on what they nailed, and what they should have done better or differently. I am 100% in the category that doesn't jam with the OCIs or formal recruit process, no matter how much my carefully crafted resume and cover letter may convince people otherwise. Throughout the formal recruit process, my biggest fear is always that firms have preconceived notions of who I am supposed to be based on my application materials. There is an ideal picture painted based on tidbits of my life, from my name to my hobbies, that I must strive to fit in order to move forward in the process. But this fear is not worth "performing" who I am, and I don't think that's what the firms have in mind either. The recruit process does not offer a level playing field, but I think that's also because it is not a race, certainly not one where it makes sense to attach your self-worth to the outcomes.

4. Know that this does not change you

The formal recruit is an incredibly taxing process that takes a lot of time and effort, with no promise of success. The good news is, the morning after the day when everything is all over, everyone is going to wake up and is going to be the same person, whether they received calls or not. The formal recruit process is not the kind of earth-shattering event that forever changes who someone is. It does influence short-term feelings and judgments; but eventually, the ecstasies and letdowns will subside.

There will be new challenges, worries, doubts and accomplishments that come our way as we continue down the paths of our legal careers, no such thing as a one-and-done to make happiness come easy. As hard as it is to do in the moment, try to see past the moment, and search for the longer-term view of your hopes and aspirations for becoming a happier, more fulfilled person who practices law, not just a lawyer.

5. Above all: be kind to yourself!

Look, I know that "it will work out in the end" is a common phrase of consolation. You hear that a lot during the formal recruit. But the reality is sometimes things just don't work out, no matter how much you wish they would, and doing everything you can to set yourself up for success still doesn't guarantee success, and optimism that feels false doesn't help much at all. There will be so many other failures and disappointments later in life, and some of them don't come with a nicely planned itinerary, they just show up and you have to deal with them. Striking out of the 2L recruit, in comparison, might just be a well-timed reality check that ultimately clues you in on what you really want outside the traditionally popular career options known to law students. The phone may or may not ring at 5pm on call day, but you are still you, with all the things that you have already conquered and excelled in, with all the things that you want out of a legal career still very much within reach. There are more than enough opportunities coming later in law school, later in your career, and you have more than enough time to give yourself a break and come back to figure it out for yourself.

I will end this post with a line from the poem "The Well Dressed Man With A Beard" by Wallace Stevens, which I have copied on the margins of my notebook to keep myself motivated in grinding through the post-OCIs job applications: "After the final no there comes a yes / And on that yes the future world depends."

Whether you are a 2L still looking for a summer job, or a 1L feeling scared and unsure about this coming recruit cycle, I wish you all the best of luck, and hope that my post has helped in some small way. Cheers!

[cherrytree]

Bumping this, for anyone on the forum feeling deflated about the post-formal-recruit job search. I didn't land a job until the Winter term of 2L, I know how gruelling the rest of the Fall term can be. You'll get through it, one way or another.