Scared of Choosing the Wrong School

[gglaw]

Basically title. Now that I have heard back from all the schools I have applied to, I am torn between two and am so scared of making the wrong choice. I was 100% set on one of them but then got into my own head and started second guessing everything 😞 I have made multiple pros and cons lists' and I just dont know what to do anymore.

Does anyone have any advice on how to narrow the decisions down. I know one school has more of what would suit me better but I am just so scared :') not really sure if anyone can even give advice on this but just wanted to rant a little and see if anyone is going through the same thing 🙂

[Rashabon]

Honestly, the best advice I can give you is that it's time to get comfortable with shutting doors. Make a decision and just live with it and be happy without always worrying that the grass is greener. That's all you can do going forward and if you don't start practicing that now, you're going to end up with the same paralysis when it comes time to decide on career paths, clinical opportunities, clubs, course selection, etc. It's not a bad thing to not have endless options anymore.

It sounds like you know one school is better for you but for whatever (undisclosed) reason you're second guessing. It doesn't actually sound like the decision is all that hard for you since there's only one school you actually want to go to.

[pastmidnight]

This might be a bit simplistic, but it has helped me in the past make decisions when I've weighed the pros and cons, and am struggling to differentiate between my anxious feelings about two options and my gut, instinctual feeling about two options. I have found that the latter is helpful and usually right, the former is generally not. 

If you were to flip a coin, heads for one school and tails for the other, and absolutely have to go to the school that the coin landed on, I'm guessing there would be a side of the coin that you'd want it, deep down, to land on. 

[VitalGiraffe]

If possible I would try to visit both. If you can't, go with your gut and don't look back.

[Bluedolphin]

1 hour ago, gglaw said:

Basically title. Now that I have heard back from all the schools I have applied to, I am torn between two and am so scared of making the wrong choice. I was 100% set on one of them but then got into my own head and started second guessing everything 😞 I have made multiple pros and cons lists' and I just dont know what to do anymore.

Does anyone have any advice on how to narrow the decisions down. I know one school has more of what would suit me better but I am just so scared :') not really sure if anyone can even give advice on this but just wanted to rant a little and see if anyone is going through the same thing 🙂

Why don't you consider not only all the pros and cons but also your priorities and your values? What really matters to you - what makes you happiest? What kind of environment do you thrive in? What courses would you like to take? What kind of people do you relate best to? What activities and clubs would you be involved in? Looking at your future career is clearly important but so is your enjoyment of and fit within your program. Also I recommend talking to people who may help - any lawyers you know, contacts you have at each university, etc.

[gglaw]

1 hour ago, Rashabon said:

Honestly, the best advice I can give you is that it's time to get comfortable with shutting doors. Make a decision and just live with it and be happy without always worrying that the grass is greener. That's all you can do going forward and if you don't start practicing that now, you're going to end up with the same paralysis when it comes time to decide on career paths, clinical opportunities, clubs, course selection, etc. It's not a bad thing to not have endless options anymore.

It sounds like you know one school is better for you but for whatever (undisclosed) reason you're second guessing. It doesn't actually sound like the decision is all that hard for you since there's only one school you actually want to go to.

honestly, that is amazing advice because I think that is my biggest problem. I have a hard time saying no to things because im so scared of all the "what if's" but thats going to be my reality for the next couple of years. You're right, there is one school I am leaning more towards I think it's just me making myself more anxious than I really need to because I am looking at such minuscule things. Thank you so much you really helped me open my eyes .

23 minutes ago, pastmidnight said:

This might be a bit simplistic, but it has helped me in the past make decisions when I've weighed the pros and cons, and am struggling to differentiate between my anxious feelings about two options and my gut, instinctual feeling about two options. I have found that the latter is helpful and usually right, the former is generally not. 

If you were to flip a coin, heads for one school and tails for the other, and absolutely have to go to the school that the coin landed on, I'm guessing there would be a side of the coin that you'd want it, deep down, to land on. 

this. This was honestly great because you're right. I just played out that little experiment in my head and I know which school I would rather go to between the two. I think I'll always have the "what if" feeling but unfortunately I'll just have to take the risk! Thanks so much 🙂

23 minutes ago, VitalGiraffe said:

If possible I would try to visit both. If you can't, go with your gut and don't look back.

yeah unfortunately I can't because of work but you're right, once I decide I can't keep looking back to second guess myself! Thank you 🙂

 

[AptAlliteration]

Unfortunately, I don't have any advice to offer but I am going through the exact same thing right now. I am completely split between two of my top choices and for over a month have had absolutely no idea which to pick and it doesn't feel like I'm moving any closer to figuring it out. I don't want to seem like I'm complaining too much because I know so many people would love to be in my position, but I definitely understand the stress and anxiety you're feeling right now. 

[qsizzle]

1 hour ago, AptAlliteration said:

Unfortunately, I don't have any advice to offer but I am going through the exact same thing right now. I am completely split between two of my top choices and for over a month have had absolutely no idea which to pick and it doesn't feel like I'm moving any closer to figuring it out. I don't want to seem like I'm complaining too much because I know so many people would love to be in my position, but I definitely understand the stress and anxiety you're feeling right now. 

Can you please post your acceptances in their respective accepted threads?

[Whist]

Here's a rationale that has always helped me with a tough decision between two options: if option A was taken away from you against your will, would you feel choked having only option B? If option B was taken from you, would you feel choked having only option A? It should help make it obvious what you're leaning towards from which outcome makes you feel worse, although from the way you worded your post I think you're already leaning.

[Ramesses]

Flip a coin. When it lands you will know what you really want.

[dimsum1]

13 hours ago, AptAlliteration said:

Unfortunately, I don't have any advice to offer but I am going through the exact same thing right now. I am completely split between two of my top choices and for over a month have had absolutely no idea which to pick and it doesn't feel like I'm moving any closer to figuring it out. I don't want to seem like I'm complaining too much because I know so many people would love to be in my position, but I definitely understand the stress and anxiety you're feeling right now. 

I think @Whist's suggestion would work in your case.  To paraphrase, would one feel worse to you than the other if you didn't get it (or chose not to go)?  

Frankly, if both are the same to you then just flip a coin.  

[AptAlliteration]

Ended up accepting Osgoode Hall’s offer over Queen’s.  Huge thanks to everyone who gave advice.