Family member back home is sick.. what should I do?

[zillenialtrash]

I'm a 1L attending a BC law school but am originally from Alberta. Just received the news that my moms cancer is back and am trying to figure out what...to do The news is still very fresh so please forgive me if this post seems a bit all over the place- my brain is a little scrambled.

I know my family is going to need help taking care of her. Last time she was sick I was very much involved in her care because my dad works full time and my younger sister has a chronic illness. So I guess my options are either I drop out and move home or I try to transfer to the U of A..

Is there anyone out there who has either been in a similar situation? Am I missing any other avenues worth exploring? I feel so terribly selfish to even be thinking about myself right now but I'm just trying to get my ducks in a row before shit starts to hit the fan. 

Thanks in advance!

[BlockedQuebecois]

I’m sorry to hear about your mother’s illness and wish her a speedy recovery. 

I would encourage you not to make any immediate decisions. While wanting to support your family during a difficult time is admirable, you also need to look after yourself, and a better balance might involve you staying enrolled at your current school while other family (perhaps extended family?) steps up this time around. 

With that said, as a starting point I would get in touch with your school’s administration to discuss what accommodations and supports may be available to you. You won’t be able to transfer to U of A this semester, so if you are going to stay at your current school you might need help with note taking if you are out of province (and your classes are in person) and perhaps access to the deferred examination process so you have more time to study while balancing your family responsibilities.

As a worst case scenario, your school may also let you take a leave of absence until this time next year, when you could rejoin 1L classes. It’s relatively rare to get a leave of absence as a 1L, but it’s worth pursuing this option if you absolutely need to be in Alberta before April (and you can’t complete your courses online). 

Then, this spring you likely have three choices: 

1. Apply to transfer to U of A. U of A, like most universities, will consider your reasons for wanting to transfer as part of the application process and this might help make up for grades that otherwise may not be competitive.
2. Apply for a letter of permission from your school to study at U of A, and apply to U of A as an LoP student. An LoP allows you to study at a law school for an academic year whilst graduating from your current institution. 
3. Take a leave of absence from your current school. Most Canadian law schools will allow upper year students to take a one year leave of absence without question and without having to reapply. 

Each of those options will have different pros and cons, as well as career consequences, so definitely take some time before making any decisions. 

I hope that’s helpful, and again I am sorry to hear of your mother’s illness. Best of luck. 

Edited December 30, 2021 by BlockedQuebecois

[Hegdis]

BQ is absolutely right. I would only like to add that you may wish to privately approach your professors and let them know what’s going on. You will need some support and flexibility while you decide what to do, and if they don’t know they can’t help. 

Please also let at least one friend on the ground know. You need some one to lean on even if they know just enough to sit quietly with you over a coffee. 

There is no wrong choice here. Every one has potential regrets and potential comforts. Whatever you decide will be a mixed bag so be kind to yourself and let your trusted loved ones help you. 
 

[zillenialtrash]

2 hours ago, BlockedQuebecois said:

I’m sorry to hear about your mother’s illness and wish her a speedy recovery. 

I would encourage you not to make any immediate decisions. While wanting to support your family during a difficult time is admirable, you also need to look after yourself, and a better balance might involve you staying enrolled at your current school while other family (perhaps extended family?) steps up this time around. 

With that said, as a starting point I would get in touch with your school’s administration to discuss what accommodations and supports may be available to you. You won’t be able to transfer to U of A this semester, so if you are going to stay at your current school you might need help with note taking if you are out of province (and your classes are in person) and perhaps access to the deferred examination process so you have more time to study while balancing your family responsibilities.

As a worst case scenario, your school may also let you take a leave of absence until this time next year, when you could rejoin 1L classes. It’s relatively rare to get a leave of absence as a 1L, but it’s worth pursuing this option if you absolutely need to be in Alberta before April (and you can’t complete your courses online). 

Then, this spring you likely have three choices: 

1. Apply to transfer to U of A. U of A, like most universities, will consider your reasons for wanting to transfer as part of the application process and this might help make up for grades that otherwise may not be competitive.
2. Apply for a letter of permission from your school to study at U of A, and apply to U of A as an LoP student. An LoP allows you to study at a law school for an academic year whilst graduating from your current institution. 
3. Take a leave of absence from your current school. Most Canadian law schools will allow upper year students to take a one year leave of absence without question and without having to reapply. 

Each of those options will have different pros and cons, as well as career consequences, so definitely take some time before making any decisions. 

I hope that’s helpful, and again I am sorry to hear of your mother’s illness. Best of luck. 

Thank you very much for this and for your well wishes. It is extremely helpful and I appreciate you taking the time to write this. 

Would you mind elaborating on the career consequences associated with transferring? I am assuming you are mostly referring to missing out on networking opportunities, but am curious if it's been your experience that employers look down on transfer students? 

I will most definitely heed your advice and speak with the administration at my school, if only to see if I may be able to attend remotely for the next month or so. 

Thanks again.

39 minutes ago, Hegdis said:

BQ is absolutely right. I would only like to add that you may wish to privately approach your professors and let them know what’s going on. You will need some support and flexibility while you decide what to do, and if they don’t know they can’t help. 

Please also let at least one friend on the ground know. You need some one to lean on even if they know just enough to sit quietly with you over a coffee. 

There is no wrong choice here. Every one has potential regrets and potential comforts. Whatever you decide will be a mixed bag so be kind to yourself and let your trusted loved ones help you. 
 

Thanks very much for this. I hadn't thought to speak with my professors but it's a good idea. I appreciate the kindness. 

[BlockedQuebecois]

12 hours ago, zillenialtrash said:

Would you mind elaborating on the career consequences associated with transferring? I am assuming you are mostly referring to missing out on networking opportunities, but am curious if it's been your experience that employers look down on transfer students? 

I don't think employers really look down on transfer students, but transferring during 1L summer does complicate things if you're interested in the type of job generally found in the formal recruits. I would say it's much less of a complicating factor if you're interested in jobs generally found outside of the recruits. 

If you wanted to participate in the 2L recruit in Vancouver, you would be applying from U of A but with grades from your BC school. That's not going to be a huge problem, but you always risk having your grades compared to students on a more favourable curve and the employer not adjusting for that sufficiently. And if you want to apply to Alberta jobs, you might encounter some difficulties because the Alberta market has a lot of 1L jobs and fewer 2L jobs.

The other consideration is whether your current school has better career outcomes than U of A. UBC does very well in securing clerkships and has good national reach, for instance, while U of A isn't generally as strong (although I think they do well for AB-based clerkships). The flip side might also be true, though—I think U of A secures more ABCA clerkships than TRU secures BCCA clerkships. 

And then yes, the final one would be networking in the market you want to live in and those kind of knock-on effects. 

As a sort of decision tree, assuming you decide you need to move back to Alberta this is how I would approach the problem: 

1. Assess whether or not you can stay enrolled in classes this coming semester while still doing well. If you can, go to (2). If not, consider requesting a leave of absence for a year.
2. Assess whether or not you want to stay enrolled in classes next year. If you want to, go to (3). If you don't, consider requesting a leave of absence beginning next fall. 
3. Consider whether your career goals are better aligned with your current school or U of A. If they are better aligned with U of A, go to (5). If they are better aligned with your current school, go to (4).
4. Consider whether you will be in a position to return to your current school for the 2023-24 academic year (your 3L year, assuming no breaks). If you will, go to (6). If you will not, go to (5).
5. Apply to transfer to U of A this summer.
6. Apply for a letter of permission to U of A this summer.

Obviously you're going to have a lot of considerations and I'm just a stranger on the internet. You've got to do what is best for you and your family, which might not be the "optimal" path from a career planning perspective. So don't feel like you need to take this as gospel and don't feel bad about making a different decision. 

Best of luck, I hope everything works out for you. 

Edited December 30, 2021 by BlockedQuebecois

[Whist]

6 hours ago, BlockedQuebecois said:

And if you want to apply to Alberta jobs, you might encounter some difficulties because the Alberta market has a lot of 1L jobs and fewer 2L jobs.

As a slight elaboration on this - Edmonton summer firm positions are more plentiful in the 1L recruit. Ones in Calgary (or outside AB) are more likely to be available in 2L onward. If you want to try for the Edmonton formal recruit OP, keep that in mind.