Isolated student, anxious about in-person

[daffodils]

Like a lot of my peers I'm feeling anxious about the return to in-person classes.

I think my anxiety probably treads the line into an unhealthy territory. I started law school part time in 2020 so I could move back home and help take care of a sick family member. A combination of having limited free time and struggling with depression has left me feeling really isolated from my law school peers. It wouldn't be an exaggeration to say that I haven't made any friends in law school so far. I really regret that I haven't taken part in clubs or extra-curriculars. The last couple of years have sort of revolved around being there for my family, to an extent that I feel like I've lost some of my own identity.

I'd really like to change this. Especially with the change to in-person this semester. But I'm worried about my ability to make friends at this point -- because I haven't been involved in anything social, I highly doubt my classmates know who I am. I read in another post that there's no shortage of opportunities to get to know other law students if you're actually interested in being social... but I've been so isolated that even the thought of approaching my peers makes me freeze up with anxiety. 

I'm sorry if this post is overly personal... I guess I'm looking for some suggestions and to also just tell someone what I'm feeling. 

[FORCE]

I feel the same way. I think you can overcome the fear and the anxiety by getting involved in something that you really care about. For example, approach your teachers about research opportunities, try the legal clinics, try turning on your camera  for one class each week, or just  present yourself to another student. 

 

Good luck ! I wish you all the best !

[GGrievous]

20 minutes ago, daffodils said:

There's no shortage of opportunities to get to know other law students if you're actually interested in being social...

Hey, I’m pretty sure I said that!
I’m a fellow socially anxious person so I totally relate to your fears. I would say definitely try to join a club. Even if you don’t make friends it will introduce you to a small circle of people who will now know who are. It will also give you practice, and best case scenario you’ll click with someone there. I have found that in club environments people are extremely welcoming and often are in the same shoes as you are. I would reach out to the coordinator because they are usually very eager to get people to join and will be especially nice. Sorry you’re having a tough time, my DM’s are always open if you just want someone to chat with. You’re less alone than you might think.

Edited January 22, 2022 by Barry

[cherrytree]

My hack for amassing a decent number of friends at school despite being introverted is to latch onto one friend who is well-connected, social, and holds position(s) in school club(s), go to the same or similar events or extracurricular where that person is a regular or will also show up. The logic is that you will always know at least one person in the room so you won't feel as self-aware as you might otherwise. The key is to be open and honest with that friend about your wish to expand your circle and get to know new people, so your friend can be mindful about making introductions or recommending things you can get involved in. I call this the Token Extrovert Friend hack. Good luck OP!

[myth000]

2 hours ago, cherrytree said:

My hack for amassing a decent number of friends at school despite being introverted is to latch onto one friend who is well-connected, social, and holds position(s) in school club(s), go to the same or similar events or extracurricular where that person is a regular or will also show up. The logic is that you will always know at least one person in the room so you won't feel as self-aware as you might otherwise. The key is to be open and honest with that friend about your wish to expand your circle and get to know new people, so your friend can be mindful about making introductions or recommending things you can get involved in. I call this the Token Extrovert Friend hack. Good luck OP!

Being adopted by an extrovert is an introvert's main strategy for socializing.   But it doesn't always happen, matter of luck.

(Adult life is a life of solitude and loneliness.  I think anxiety and depression are the main problems; I deal with these through a combination of medication and other strategies.)

[stressedoutlawstudent]

Not sure if solidarity will help, but I feel the exact same way. Up to now I have also avoided participating in any extra-curriculars (though I want to). While I share your anxiety about going in person and meeting new people, I bet there are quite a few others in the exact same boat hoping for a chance to start developing their law school social circles now. 

Edited January 22, 2022 by stressedoutlawstudent