Food Allergies and Events Etiquette [an anonymous query]

[Hegdis]

On behalf of a person who doesn't want this identifying info associated to their account:

 

I'm allergic to several fairly commonly-used ingredients (that can't always be easily substituted or removed from a dish). These allergies are very serious and could even prove fatal. As a result, there is a small but non-zero chance that I could be at, say, a firm dinner and find that there's quite literally nothing on the menu I can eat. This shouldn't come up—there are really only two cuisines that I can think of where I could hypothetically find myself in the position of not being able to order anything off of a fancy restaurant's menu, and even then it's pretty likely that I could find something—but I could see it happening nonetheless and I'd like to have some idea of what to do if it does.

I obviously do not want to seem rude or ungrateful for the hospitality of those who are paying for the food. Should it come to this, is there a graceful way I can avoid eating without being all TMI about my allergies and without seeming rude? Would people actually notice or care if I didn't eat anything or, say, filled up on bread? Am I overthinking this?

[Yogurt Baron]

Coincidentally, the Ask a Manager blog spoke to this issue today. Whether it's different in the specific setting of firm dinners, I'm the last person to tell you.

https://www.askamanager.org/2022/03/food-restrictions-at-a-lunch-interview-background-noise-on-phone-calls-and-more.html

[Rashabon]

Yeah I would follow that advice. Note that you have some dietary restrictions (you don't have to specify allergies) and you would be grateful if they could confirm the restaurant and/or menu so that you can check in advance. Nobody is going to fault anyone for that.

I wouldn't point it out, but it is human nature to ask why you haven't ordered something if you end up turning down any of the options from the waiter, so you should expect someone to ask that question, even conversationally without thinking about the implications.

[Fruitdealer]

30 minutes ago, Yogurt Baron said:

Coincidentally, the Ask a Manager blog spoke to this issue today. Whether it's different in the specific setting of firm dinners, I'm the last person to tell you.

https://www.askamanager.org/2022/03/food-restrictions-at-a-lunch-interview-background-noise-on-phone-calls-and-more.html

Seems like good advice. I'm just imagining that you have a very specific askamanager link saved in your back pocket though.