Current 1L: are all schools so cliquey?

[dogsarecool]

I am a current 1L at an Ontario school. I'm loving the academics so far, but I can't help but notice how cliquey the class is. It feels like high school. Are all schools like this and any 1Ls going through this, or perhaps do any 2Ls/3Ls have some advice?

I've met some great people so far, but even in the past few weeks I've had my fair share of encounters with mean girls. I hate feeling like I have to pretend to be someone I'm not, or how evidently other classmates look down on others that aren't wearing a particular brand/fashion style.

[pastmidnight]

Unfortunately, I think this is pretty common.

I’d make an effort to talk to anyone who seems nice. This can be really difficult to do if you’re shy, but in cliquey environments you have to push yourself to make more of an effort to get to know people. There are plenty of people who feel the same way you do, and who would like to get to know more people, but who have defaulted to hanging out with whoever they met during orientation because that’s what feels safe.

Join extracurriculars if you haven’t already.

People who have never grown out of being high school mean girls are unfortunately common in law school. Try to limit the amount of time you have to spend interacting with them as much as possible, and be civil with them when you do have to interact with them. Do not compromise who you are to gain their acceptance. You do not want to be “friends” or even acquaintances with these people. Take comfort in the fact that the terrible reputations they’ve cultivated for themselves in law school will follow them once they graduate, and try to ignore them. If things escalate, go to student services.

[realpseudonym]

It’s basically middle school.

That said, I found people chilled out eventually. Particularly after first semester.

[Patient0L]

13 hours ago, dogsarecool said:

I am a current 1L at an Ontario school. I'm loving the academics so far, but I can't help but notice how cliquey the class is. It feels like high school. Are all schools like this and any 1Ls going through this, or perhaps do any 2Ls/3Ls have some advice?

I've met some great people so far, but even in the past few weeks I've had my fair share of encounters with mean girls. I hate feeling like I have to pretend to be someone I'm not, or how evidently other classmates look down on others that aren't wearing a particular brand/fashion style.

It’s still very early. You’ll find your people.

[GoBigOrGoHome]

It’s bad and I’m not sure it gets better. 
 

This past week I watched someone in class roll their eyes at something that they shouldn’t have and chuckled, looked at the person beside them expecting them to go along with it, and that person looked visibly uncomfortable not wanting to but also being part of the group. It was like a scene out of means girls - because Regina George doesn’t like something, you can’t like it either.

The legal profession is very small. Remember that. People will remember you. How you talk about others, how you talk about them (when they find out about it). 

There is one person in my cohort that I will never refer business to. extremely competitive to the point that they won’t share information with you, puts down everybody (including profs). It’s a weird situation because so many different people have come to me about this person’s negative personality traits, but they all still talk to them. I thought I could influence positive behaviour by showing kindness (won’t be specific to avoid outing), but nope. Still a jerk. 

 

[Whist]

It's not always toxic cliquey, but yes it's cliquey. I've never personally experienced any drama but through the grapevine have heard of some extremely petty behaviour. It tends to get better after 1L, as early as after 1L exams even because getting grades tends to bring people back down to earth. In 2L/3L you aren't in discrete cohorts anymore and you meet more people through work, ECs, new classes, etc. You still get try-hards, but that's more annoying than mean. 

[Whisk3yjack]

Every school is going to have cliques. Cliques has a negative connotation, but the formation of smaller, close friend groups is going to be a natural occurrence in any group of 200ish people. You just can't maintain super close friendships with 200 people all at once!

[realpseudonym]

On 9/17/2023 at 1:10 PM, Whist said:

It's not always toxic cliquey, but yes it's cliquey. I've never personally experienced any drama but through the grapevine have heard of some extremely petty behaviour. It tends to get better after 1L, as early as after 1L exams even because getting grades tends to bring people back down to earth. In 2L/3L you aren't in discrete cohorts anymore and you meet more people through work, ECs, new classes, etc. You still get try-hards, but that's more annoying than mean. 

Yeah, I agree with all of this.

Also, sometimes friendships don't form right away. I met a bunch of my best friends in law school, although we didn't really become close until second and third year.

[duck]

On 9/16/2023 at 9:36 PM, dogsarecool said:

I am a current 1L at an Ontario school. I'm loving the academics so far, but I can't help but notice how cliquey the class is. It feels like high school. Are all schools like this and any 1Ls going through this, or perhaps do any 2Ls/3Ls have some advice?

I've met some great people so far, but even in the past few weeks I've had my fair share of encounters with mean girls. I hate feeling like I have to pretend to be someone I'm not, or how evidently other classmates look down on others that aren't wearing a particular brand/fashion style.

I'm sorry you feel this way; I relate. I took a different route than some of the commenters in this thread; I literally stopped caring about snarky comments. In doing so, I also stopped being friendly to people I felt were not being nice to me. It was exhausting having to people-please and put on a goofy, nonchalant persona (especially as a neurodivergent person lol). 

It may not be great advice but it worked for me. Instead of worrying about people or what they thought about me, I focused on the OCIs and secured a job back home. I made close friends at my job. There are so many ways to find community in the legal field beyond law school. 

Ultimately, my peace came from that no matter what they think of me, I'll do fine for myself. So don't worry about upsetting people who are not nice to you, their influence really isn't as big as you think it is. 

 

[Scrantonicity2]

This is intended as encouragement: I haven't experienced law school as cliquey. I'm sure there are cliques at my school, but I am fully oblivious. I'm sure being a mature (ish) student has something to do with it, but there are a couple of other things that I think have been helpful that you could try. 1) I have community outside my law school (this is harder if you've moved to a new place, but I still really encourage trying to connect with folks outside the law school bubble) and 2) I have leaned towards less prestigious and more justicey/nerdy extra curriculars. Nerds and SJWS can be cliquey too, but I've had good luck so far. I've also heard sporty folks have had good luck with intramurals.

[Naj]

On 9/16/2023 at 9:36 PM, dogsarecool said:

mean girls

There's a chick in my program who will make it a point to taunt you whenever she greets you, usually by means of some sarcastic and subtly belittling one-liner. Was not fucking with her at all until she brought some salad that she had personally made to a social bbq someone else arranged. No one else brought anything. 

I ate her salad and had a conversation with her, turns out she's pretty nice. Although I did mention, in more subtle words, that she'd be a lot more approachable if she chilled the fuck out every now and then.

[CndnViking]

I do wish you'd be more specific than "an Ontario law school", so those of us who are still in the application process could benefit from your experience by including it in our decision-making.

[Naj]

1 hour ago, CndnViking said:

I do wish you'd be more specific than "an Ontario law school", so those of us who are still in the application process could benefit from your experience by including it in our decision-making.

You may have missed the general consensus here on cliques being present in all schools and not just one specific law school in Ontario. I wouldn't worry about factoring this post, or subject, into your decision-making. 

Edited September 26 by Naj