Mental Health Break

[notoriousrbg]

I am struggling with my mental health at my current job and I am having difficulty getting work done. I am a sixth year call and in litigation. I have an offer for a new job but I do not feel that I am in the best state to start a new job. The offer also does not provide me with any time off between my old job and starting the new job. I am considering quitting my job and taking some time off to recover but I am worried about finding another job. 

Has anyone quit their job without a job lined up? How long did you take off? How did you leave your job without leaving a bad impression for quitting for your mental health? How long did it take for you to find a new job? How did you explain this gap to new potential employers? Any advice would be helpful. 

[JohnnyCochrane68]

Did you ask for a later start date? I had to push a start date by about five months and it wasn't an issue

Quitting cold without a new job lined up is a last resort. If I was at that point I would investigate trying to get some kind of leave from the current job first as a runway to the next thing. 

Unless you are currently shitting the bed at work I don't think you will "leave a bad impression" if you quit. However if you get litigious about work accommodations and time off then I would not expect your bosses to be friendly. 

I have no advice about how to explain the gap. 

I will say that I regret being overly accommodating to an ex-firm, spending extra time transitioning matters, etc. In retrospect it deprived me of a break and I got absolutely nothing out of it. 

[Cool_name]

What is the point of changing firms if you don’t get a break between the jobs? It is one of the very few times you can actually disconnect and is imo one of the best parts of changing jobs. 
 

The firm will understand a request to push back the start date. They may have reasons why they can’t agree, but I’d wager they would be agreeable.

[Dinsdale]

5 hours ago, Cool_name said:

The firm will understand a request to push back the start date. They may have reasons why they can’t agree, but I’d wager they would be agreeable.

Very much depends on why the new firm has hired OP.  Presumably it is because they are very busy and need a new sixth year litigator who can jump right in and take carriage of files.  In fact, they may already have certain files in mind.  So I'm not so sure they will be all that agreeable.  If you do negotiate a break, maybe characterize it in some way other than "mental health break".

[Bob Jones]

On 3/28/2024 at 10:44 PM, notoriousrbg said:

I am struggling with my mental health at my current job and I am having difficulty getting work done. I am a sixth year call and in litigation. I have an offer for a new job but I do not feel that I am in the best state to start a new job. The offer also does not provide me with any time off between my old job and starting the new job. I am considering quitting my job and taking some time off to recover but I am worried about finding another job. 

Has anyone quit their job without a job lined up? How long did you take off? How did you leave your job without leaving a bad impression for quitting for your mental health? How long did it take for you to find a new job? How did you explain this gap to new potential employers? Any advice would be helpful. 

I would consider a move to in house. You can still find quasi litigation or regulatory roles so you will be in an adjacent field, but without having to be in the trenches day to day. It’s much  more 9-5, and you can still get a decent base salary plus bonuses and what not. The total comp will probably come less than a sr associate on bay or income partner, but you’ll keep the lights on.

 

In the interim, your health is top priority so don’t be shy to take a leave if it’s not working out. 
 

Best or luck!

[beachhouse]

If you are planning on a career break or any transition, the best way to get through it is to build strong wellness and life management habits and practices, create self-discipline and adopt mindsets that will drive you forward. Use that period to learn and drill core mindsets, habits and practices.

Create and keep track of your goals and habits, routinely self-assess, and create self-auditing and accountability mechanisms. A deliberate, well-planned strategy and system to improve your mental health is essential. For example, make a habit of daily mindfulness meditation and record your progress, enrol in cognitive behavioural therapy, or start trauma journaling. You do not need an end goal or state in mind, it might be counterproductive for mental health. But a strong habit system paired with honest record-keeping will let you understand where you are, and how you are changing over time. Registering the little successes will also ping the dopamine reward system and keep you going when things feel difficult.

I took wildly dramatic career changes in the past two years, went into full-time military, and switched to the reserves for personal/family reasons. But went through a dramatic change in how I approached life, personal resiliency and mental wellness after a difficult personal period. All of these changes are very positive, I've honestly never been as focused and productive, I can handle stressors much better now, my mental health is better than it has ever been and I am returning to previous levels of health and physical fitness. 

Some of the changes came with being in the military, for example, overcoming inhibition and doing difficult, new and dangerous things, doing mundane things well, and building strong self-discipline. Others came from seeking out and applying books and lessons I've learned over a year on wellness, science and philosophy. For myself it was important to seek out scientifically grounded, evidence-based methods, practical productivity habits and deep philosophy for motivation and mindset, to drill it deep within my cognition.

Some important ones for me were Atomic Habits by James Clear, which teaches the mindset of systematic self-improvement, building a system of habits, and overcoming bad ones, Cal Newport's books about the concept of deep work and time management techniques, which for me has freed time for mental health, and Daniel Goleman's books on the science of mindfulness, which gave me motivation to meditate 45mins to 1hr daily. In addition, stoic and zen philosophy teaches lessons about embracing hardship and not striving for comfort and distraction, this I picked up from reading Marcus Aurelius, Viktor Frankl and other writers, and mindfulness books from Jon Kabat Zinn. 

From there, the lessons about cultivating the mindset of embracing challenges, understanding life is about facing difficulties instead of seeking comfort, as well as maintaining a system of habits, deliberately planning and focusing my free time and recovering unproductive time, has allowed me to find 2 hours daily for meditation and wellness habits like journaling my thoughts, mental state and productivity for every waking hour. All of this while spending 2+ hours writing, reading or learning new languages and other things, and another 1-2 hours a day on physical fitness.

I still waste a lot of time in the day, miss a few habits on some days, and there are periods where my mental health lapses (a lot of holed-up trauma). But in the last two weeks, I was able to hit my personal productivity and wellness targets while completing some major life transitions including moving hundreds of kilometres, setting up a place to live and furniture, getting basic things like health care and managing my finances, and spending hours a day applying to jobs and volunteering while maintaining a part-time reservist role.


 

Edited May 21, 2024 by beachhouse

[happydude]

On 4/1/2024 at 10:06 PM, Dinsdale said:

Very much depends on why the new firm has hired OP.  Presumably it is because they are very busy and need a new sixth year litigator who can jump right in and take carriage of files.  In fact, they may already have certain files in mind.  So I'm not so sure they will be all that agreeable.  If you do negotiate a break, maybe characterize it in some way other than "mental health break".

This has sadly been my experience each and every time I leave to a new job. They say they are busy, already have things in mind, and are not agreeable to the start date being more than 2-3 weeks from the date the offer is extended. Which means you don't get much, if any, time off between jobs. I've always just given 3 weeks notice. But I've seen plenty of co-workers over the years only give 2, to the point I am not so sure I buy it when people say in law you should give more.

Edited September 11, 2024 by happydude